I get by with a little help from my friends.

Kansas life has been going on as usual. I’ve been missing my California friends a lot lately, but have been making Kansas friends :]]. However, each time I make a new friend I know that it will only be temporary. Mostly everyone I know is moving back to their home while our husbands deploy, which is all around the same time. Hopefully by the time that happens I will have more established friendships and activities here that will occupy my time during the year long loneliness.

I try to put the year long deployment into perspective. But that succeeds in doing 2 things. 1: it makes me feel better because this past year has FLOWN by. 2: It makes me feel worse, because it feels like I’ve been married FOREVER (it hasn’t even been a year), and it feels like I’ve been living in Kansas FOREVER (it hasn’t even been 3 months).  I keep trying to tell myself not to worry about it because it is still months away, but this is obviously easier said than done.

I’m hoping to make a couple trips within the next few months. In August I’m hoping to drive the 10 hours down to Fort Hood for Jimmy’s (Kaitlin’s little brother) Iraq homecoming ceremony. It will be a quick three day trip (one day driving, one day there, one day driving back home). Nic will be leaving for a FTX in Fort Sill, OK for the remainder of the month as soon as I get back. I am so excited at the possibility that I may see my bestest friend!! The second trip would be back to California for John and Denise’s wedding in October. This trip is significantly more expensive, and therefore a lot more difficult. I am still keeping my fingers crossed that we will be able to afford the plane ticket and everything else. With Texas still being in question, and that is only a tank and a half or so in gas, I’m hoping that by October we have enough saved to make it possible!! I would give ANYTHING to see my two friends get married. Denise is going to make the most beautiful bride.

Nic is doing well. Adjusting to being a team leader! I am so proud of him every single day. He is such an amazing man, husband, and soldier. I love it when he texts me that he is on his way home, and I know I have 30 minutes to get the house looking nice! I usually start dinner and straighten the house up. I love that he walks through the door every day and that I get to give him a kiss and ask how his day was. We have family dinner basically every night, where we talk about our days. After we do dishes, we usually watch America’s Funniest Home Videos (thanks to our DVR). I think it is these nights that I am going to miss the most when he deploys. I am so, so thankful for this quality time that we get together. I am such a lucky girl to have found my soulmate at such a young age. It is nights like these that I want to hold onto and cherish. Memories like these will get me through those long deployment nights.

Please pray for all the deployed soldiers and their families. Pray for strength for them to get through every single day.

You’re my favorite thing about the west coast.

I keep having dreams about the ocean. I’m sitting barefoot in the sand all alone watching the waves. They are thundering and crashing against the shore, and I’m just there watching. If I could change one thing about me moving it would be that I would have taken one last trip to the ocean. Nothing compares to it. Kansas is the exact opposite. I’m not complaining, it is just a fact. Much like the endlessness of the ocean, the same thing applies here; except with land. Every direction, all I see is land. The vastness of it is almost suffocating, knowing that the ocean is 2000 miles away. 4 days of driving. 2 time zones. 4 states away. Goodness. Again, I’m not complaining. Just sitting, waiting, wishing for the time that I get to feel that sand between my toes, and feel the mist against my skin. Until I get to feel those things again, I guess my dreams will suffice.

Who needs the Pacific when you have an ocean of grass anyway :]

Also, I made a decision today. I’m going to work every day to make this experience awesome. I’m going to be miserable here if I don’t start making an effort. So, starting tomorrow, I’m going to try to do something to make Kansas awesome every single day :] Today was going fishing. Tomorrow, I will probably go fishing again… hahaa

 

Please continue to pray for Andrew and Diane that their recoveries from surgery is quick and painless.

So this is life.

Kansas has been boring and interesting at the same time. I’m beginning to be more adjusted to this way of life. “This way of life” meaning the army life, married life, and Kansas life.

Army life moves very quickly. 15 minutes early is on time, 3 miles under speed limit is the speed limit, and “yes sir” and “no sir.” It is a life that I am slowly getting used to. When I see the insignia on a uniform, I’m beginning to understand that it means either a captain or a sergeant first class. I’m slowly finding my way around base, and rarely need to use my GPS. My military ID is my new best friend, using it to get into most buildings on base, and needing it to pay everywhere.

Married life is, well, married life. I am so happy to finally have a home with my husband. We are slowly adjusting to living together again after almost 7 months apart. Piper is adjusting well. She seems attention starved lately, and is showing this by acting out! I can’t wait until that phase is over.

Kansas life is, well, interesting. Life in Kansas seems to move at a slower pace than in California. People walk, talk, and live at their own pace. The speed limit on the highways is 65. Back home, that really means 75-80. Here? It means 60. It drives me crazy. I’m getting used to it though.

I’ve really enjoyed having my own little place in the world. My favorite part about coming home every day is turning on my Scentcy warmer (courtesy of Sara :] ) and lighting my favorite candles. I actually enjoy cleaning. I have become slightly neurotic when it comes to keeping my apartment clean. To whomever knows me or has ever seen any place I’ve lived in California, you know that this is uncharacteristic of me. But now that I have my own apartment, I can’t go to sleep until all the pillows on the couch are in their place, the kitchen is clean, and the floors are picked up. Part of my OCD is because of the spiders. I’ve heard that spiders like clutter. Therefore, no clutter should mean no spiders, right? Wrong. But I couldn’t imagine how many more spiders there would be if there were clutter! Goodness. Wolf spiders are becoming the bane of my existence. Those, and june bugs. Goodness, the june bugs.

As much as I love it here, I have days where I am unbearably homesick. I would give anything to go to Panda with Kaitlin, and then walk around target. Or call Denise and go to Oodles and sit and have army-wife talk for hours. I miss Mike, Phil, Ryan, and Jen and the endless nights of Ev-o and coke, and country music. I miss Trish. Goodness, I miss Trish. I miss her and her boys. I miss bringing her green tea (no water, 4 pumps ;] ). I miss my parents. I miss absolutely everything. Some days I will be walking out of Walmart and until I look over to the right and see “Manhattan” painted on the side of the hill, I still kinda think I am in California. Not that I’m delusional or anything… It’s just that every once and a while it hits me… I’m in Kansas. I’m in Kansas, 2000 miles from my home. I’m in Kansas, 2000 miles from my home, and everything I’ve known my whole life. Woah. Talk about a wakeup call. I say again though, don’t get me wrong… I love my life here.

I’m looking forward to when I get to go home and visit. I’m hoping that will be in October for Denise and John’s wedding… it just depends on finances.

I keep hearing rumors about Nic’s upcoming deployment. Honestly, every time I hear about a change of time or location, I automatically do 3 things. 1. Freak out a little. 2. Google. 3. Message John. Haha! It is the truth though. I keep trying to remind myself that nothing is set in stone until they get off that plane and are told where they are going. I am trying not to play into the rumors I’m hearing, but with deployment constantly on my mind this is easier said than done.

Please pray for my friend Andrew, who is having surgery tomorrow. Also, please pray for Kaitlin’s mom who had surgery today. Please pray for the soldiers overseas, and their families back at home. I can’t request any prayers for myself when there are so many people who need them more than I do. Please, pray.

Pack my bags, never look back, and run a parallel line with the railroad tracks.

Well, this post is LONG overdue, and I am aware of that. So much has happened since my previous one that I’m not even really sure where to start. I’ll start at the beginning.

Nic finally received word that we were moving just 3 days before he was scheduled to fly to California. It was the very best day!!! He arrived in California late on Saturday, April 30th. We spent a little time here and there with family and friends, but Monday we loaded our moving truck!! That was such a long day. A bunch of our amazing friends came and helped us, and we for sure couldn’t have done it without them. Tuesday, bright and early, we pulled out of the driveways with tearful waves (well at least I did) and started our life!!

The first day of driving  was a long one. Nic was ahead of me in the 26′ Penske truck, with his pickup on a tow dolly. I was behind him with a very anxious Piper in the backseat. We were only able to go around 50-55, because of the tow dolly and for pure safety reasons. Due to that, we didn’t even make it out of California our first day! We rented a hotel in Needles, CA, which is actually only about 10 miles from the Arizona border.

Wednesday started pretty early, and back on the road we were. Due to the fact that much of our drive was spent in the desert with hundreds of miles between civilization (and cell phone towers) we had walkie talkies to communicate! This made lane changing and lunch breaks go by so much smoother, and it was a lot of fun… haha. We stopped in Grants, New Mexico (I think…). We averaged about 500 miles a day, but with stops for gas, food, and Piper, that put us at about 12-15 hours a day driving. It was exhausting!!!

Thursday, we were determined to get off of highway 40 (which was our 800 or so mile stretch). We finally got out of the desert, and passed into Texas. We passed through the north west corner of Texas, and then into the panhandle of Oklahoma. We were in Guymon, OK for the night. We stopped at a Super 8 instead of our usual Motel 6, and thought we would spend a little more for our last night. It was amazing!! It even had a flat screen TV that was HUGE and a recliner. So, guess what Nic did? He dug his PS3 out of the rental truck. Of course he did. We had pizza delivered, and relaxed on our last night before arriving in Kansas. That whole day was awesome because we were starting to enter into the plains so I was getting some insight into what the landscape of my new home would be!

Friday we woke up and we on the road before the sun came up. We still had about 300 miles to go (which would take us roughly 8-10 hours) but we needed to arrive in time to sign our lease at our new apartment. When we crossed the state line into Kansas and I saw the sign, I couldn’t help but tear up a little. I was really here. I really left California, and all my friends behind me. My family, my home, the place I had grown up for 24 years. I was facing new challenges, new faces, and a new home. I was excited, but also terrified. Nic was always amazing at talking me down from moments like this (through walkie talkie, of course :] ).

I knew we were getting close when I saw signs for Fort Riley, with the big red one patch on them!! The first one I saw I became overwhelmed with excitement, and all the nervousness melted away. We came up over the hill and I saw our apartment complex for the first time. It was so surreal. Within the hour we had our keys and were signing the last documents for our lease. We moved our things in that night (with the help from a couple of Nic’s army buddies).

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday we mostly spent unpacking, cleaning, making trips to Walmart, a couple of trips on base, and enjoying our time together!! Nic returned to work on Tuesday, and I was alone in this big apartment not really knowing a soul. I had made a few friends on the Fort Riley facebook before I arrived, but I didn’t really know any of them yet so I was pretty lonely.

However, I got into the swing of things! I started getting closer and closer to my friends here, kept in touch with the ones in California, and turned into a real life house wife. I am now basically a pro at meal planning, and having dinner ready when Nic is ready to eat. I even got a job! I babysit for one of my friends that lives on base.

I am so happy here. I find myself almost forgetting that I am in Kansas though. When I see a cool place I think “oh I want to go there with Kaitlin!” Or when I hear a cool song on the radio I can’t help but think “This weekend I’m gonna tell Mike, Ryan, and Phil about it and we can learn it.” When I saw the zoo and waterpark here I think “Trish would love to take the boys here!” Then it’s like I re-realize that I’m in Kansas, without all these people, and it hits me all over again. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it here. I just miss the people that I love.

Life is amazing. I have my husband, my dog, a roof over my head, and amazing friends. I am so absolutely blessed, in ways I never knew before!! Thank you to everyone that has helped me get to this point. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Another day.

Really the only thing that is getting me through each stressful, lonely day, is the thought of seeing my husband come down those stairs at the airport, and seeing that smile on his face. Still no word of when we are moving, still no approval, still no for sure approval on our apartment. All the research I’ve done, all the books I’ve read, and nothing prepared me for how difficult PCS-ing really is, physically and emotionally. I am ready for my family to be back together.

I’m just ready to start my life with my husband, in a way we never have been able to before.

Please pray for good news, lots and lots of good news. Please also pray for my husband and his company. They are training in the field for the next couple of weeks.

You say that I’m a dreamer.

I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to stay focused on things here. All I can think about is my upcoming move to Kansas. All I can think about is where I’m going to put my dressers, how I’m going to decorate my kitchen, and where I’m going to try to find a cheap vacuum. My days are occupied with constant daydreaming about weekends spent with Nic, meeting his friends there, and making some of my own. My mind wanders to images of Piper chasing her tail around the apartment, constantly sweeping up her ever-shedding fur, and cleaning the bathrooms. Laundry, dishes, and mopping are my least favorite chores, but I am excited to do them at my apartment because it will be just that: my apartment. Well, mine and Nic’s apartment. With all these things on my mind, I find it hard to be troubled with any of the nonsense and drama that is seemingly endless here. So if I seem uninterested or distracted, it is because I AM. I have a matter of a few weeks here, and I want to enjoy them as much as I can. However, I want them to fly by as quickly as possible. It has been over a month since Nic’s graduation, and this moving process which I thought would take a couple weeks is now quickly turning into a couple months. With his deployment still uncertain, I want to get there as soon as possible and start savoring every minute spent with my husband. Nothing here is ever as fun as the conversations that I have with Nic about BBQ’ing on the weekends, lawn furniture in the family room, and things we are going to buy on our first grocery trip.

I’m living with my head in the clouds, hoping that I don’t come down.

Please pray for the troops that were recently deployed to Afghanistan from Fort Riley. One of my army-wife friends there, Keshia, said goodbye to her husband for a year a few days ago. Please, please pray for her and her husband, as well as all the other families. They all deserve your prayers much, much more than Nic and I do.

No news is good news? Really?

I’ve heard that saying a lot over the past 6 months. However, no news doesn’t make my stress levels go down. No news doesn’t help me sleep at night, or make my stress headaches go away. There is still no news on our apartment, which the approval of will be the catalyst in me moving to Kansas! GAH I’m trying to stay calm, and realize that I’ve done all that I can do. I filled out all of the necessary paperwork and mailed it off. I did my part. Then why do I still feel like I haven’t? I’m going to call them tomorrow, I think. I hope I can restrain myself, because I do not want to be a bother.

We are being faced with yet another delay in moving. Starting next week, Nic will be in the field for 2 weeks. So that means unless we get approved this week and he can put in the request for travel time/TDY, it will have to wait until the first week of May. The thought of starting another month in California, without my husband, is nearly unbearable. However, it is out of my hands. I’ve been trying to put faith in God and knowing that he has a plan for Nic and I, but this is becoming ever-more difficult with each passing day. I’m trying to change my negative outlook on all of this to a positive one. For sake of my sanity, I hope we hear back soon.

On a lighter note, Nic is doing well in Kansas :]. I am so proud of him!! He is my hero, truly.

Starting tomorrow, I will resume packing. It was difficult to pack before we really had any idea of what was going on. We still don’t really know, but we at least know that we will doing a PPM (previously a DITY) move, which means we have to move everything ourselves. It is really starting to sink in that I am leaving California. I have ventured out and lived in other towns, but none of which were more than a 20 minute drive back to my parents house. I’m going to leave my family and my friends to start a new life with my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I am INCREDIBLY excited for this new adventure. But in the last few months my relationships with some of my friends here have grown so much, that the thought of leaving them is nearly heartbreaking.

Please pray for good news from the apartment, and for me to calm down!! Also please send prayers to my husband and all the other soldiers.